Top 7 signs you no longer work at a high-tech company

  1. The demographics of the place more closely reflect the outside world. You feel young again. Unfortunately, it is advisable to adopt a more conservative dress code.
  2. There is no WiFi in the building.
  3. You are issued a Blackberry in an older version than the one you had before.
  4. You are issued a large and sturdy laptop that is heavier than the one you had before. I mean, a couple of pounds heavier. That’s a lot heavier, for something you want to take home at the end of the day.
  5. Your laptop carries an operating system and applications in the local language, and there is no way to get them in English. You have to relearn most of your keyboard shortcuts. CTRL+p? forget about it, now it’s CTRL+SHIFT+F12. CTRL+s? it’s become SHIFT+F12. CTRL+f? start getting used to CTRL+SHIFT+t. CTRL+a? You still haven’t figured out where that one has gone. You fear serious losses in your productivity.
  6. They don’t use Skype. In fact, Skype is blocked. They don’t use any other instant messaging application, actually. When they need to chat, they write emails back and forth to each other. You fear even more serious losses in your productivity. You ask for an exception to the Skype block.
  7. Every morning, a thick bundle of newspapers is delivered to your desk. Some Web-only dailies are printed out and delivered to your desk. Little by little, one piece at a time, you start trying to stop the madness.
  8. [Bonus] You wrap up a meeting with a colleague. You say “OK, I’ll send you a list of those items in a spreadsheet or something.” He says “That’s OK. As long as you don’t send me an Excel. I don’t do Excel.”

5 thoughts on “Top 7 signs you no longer work at a high-tech company

  1. When I read your post I all the sudden started to feel dizzy. Living without all the technology – I just did that for 6 weeks while on sabbatical. But working without it? Not so sure.
    My recommendation: get everybody to just get an iPhone. User friendly and everything that you need at your fingertips. Then use the laptop to keep the teapot hot on your desk.

    Hope all is well.

  2. Marc, wonderful to hear from you. Welcome back from your sabbatical, which I hope was great!
    I like your recommendation – one day, who knows? In the meantime I’ll add to the list:

    10. There is no teapot.

    I’ll bring one in today!

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