Sorry about exploitation of clichés, but this snippet of dialogue is too fun to omit in the name of political correctness.
“[Hakim’s] slave Masoud was found to have the largest member of any black man alive. I’m sure […] Masoud was discovered after a not entirely joyless search. Not unlike the survey of Africa made by Tiberius for the same reason, his ‘collection’ at Capri.”
Lucy added, “Lampridius writes that Elagabalus Cesar sent out emissaries to Africa for the same purpose”.
O’Hanrahan was momentarily silenced. “Lucille! Is that what you have done with your learning, read Late Empire filth like Lampridius?”
She put back her head and laughed. “That’s the only reason anyone does Classics, sir – the filth.”